Snape's Diary
by zan11111
Summary: a complete saga of snape's life... NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! this story is just for laughs. ik nothing like this would really happen... Rated teen for language and extreme negativity
1. Day One

I moaned angrily as I stalked through the halls of Hogwarts. I trudged back to my spaciously challenged room, threw myself onto my bed, a picked up a book titled _Snape's Diary._ Because I couldn't say what I thought about all of the ass holes in my life, I'm forced to write it out.

_'Oh my god! My life sucks. Today I was trapped in the chasm that everyone considers the potions room, and to makes things worse, I'm trapped with brats of all shape and size. Just let me tell you, it's not fun to be stuck in a medium sized dungeon with twenty or more extra- large children._

I dip my quill into a nearby ink well.

_Dumbledore called me to his office today. Damn it, he is sooo GAY! He has a retarded fire bird thing that kept pecking at my head, and all of the paintings of dead headmasters were belching loudly throughout our whole conversation! The mud-blood with the frizzy hair wouldn't shut up, as usual. The Weasley kid smelled like dragon shit. And don't even get me started on Potter. He's all "I'm so famous and everyone loves me!" BS!'_

My quill ran out of ink! Just another crappy thing to add to this already crappy day. I sulked down the dark corridors, and slipped into the potion supply room, I always keep extra ink there. I sorted through many different potions, some that _Dumbledore put there…_ oh well, trying not to look at the labels, I searched through and finally grabbed a small black bottle. I trudged back to my room, I heard breathing from right next to me, _Potter_, but I wanted to get back to writing, so I continued back to by dorm. I plopped back down on the small mattress and continued writing…

_I looked in the mirror today; it was like looking at a boggart, my worst nightmare come to life. First off, I need to wash my hair more; it hung like a greasy black curtain around my uninviting face. And my nose is ENORMOUS! I also had a large blackhead inhabiting my chin. _

I sighed, while dipping my inkless quill into the well.

_Overall, my life sucks. I will be writing tomorrow. Badnight, because I just can't seem to have a good one. _


	2. Day Two

I squandered in self pity until I mustered up the confidence to write about another one of my horrible days.

_ I was miserable as usual, when the weirdest thing happened. A Ravenclaw first year came up to me and asked_ if I wanted a hug._ I obviously said no, and she began crying! I began to get even angrier and I could feel my face growing red hot with race. Apparently, she found that funny. She began mocking me, "Awww, did Mr. grumpy pants have a bad day?" I grumbled pointlessly to myself. "Does someone want a cookie?" she asked with angering amounts of sweetness. I began to reply with a strict 'no' but she forced the wretched cookie down my throat before I could say it. I began to choke on the shitty cookie and I spit it out. She began to sob and I shoved her back to her back to her seat._

I dipped my quill in the three- quarter full ink well.

After lunch in the grand hall, sitting next to the filthy oaf Hagrid, Potter came to class. He came in and threw himself onto his chair. I slid toward and smacked him in the back with my wand, silently telling him to sit up. He snickered. I found that offensive, so I gave him detention without thinking. 'Damn it!' I realized that now I had to stay late with him.

I put my quill into the well, tapped it against the side, and began writing again.

_I regretted giving Potter detention the moment we arrived. He apparently learned how to disapperate because he would disappear with a _POP_, and reappear in a different seat. It drove me nuts. Detention couldn't be over soon enough. After a torturous 3 hours on constant popping, I snapped. I cursed loudly multiple times, and finally just screamed 'screw you' and stormed out. I slinked back to my horribly bland room and jumped onto my bed. And that brings us to the present. I hate my life. I will write tomorrow._

_-Severus Snape _


End file.
